I understand the fascination of having 3 babies at once. Just when I think I'm used to looking at 3 beautiful sleeping babies, well, toddlers, in their cribs, I realize that I have THREE sleeping babies for whom I'm responsible (Jack's responsibility is implied, of course). I'm responsible for teaching them to not hit, to listen to directions, to eat their food and not throw it. It is up to me to teach them to love books, to discover bugs and dandelions, to begin instilling a love of learning. While saving for 3 college educations, it is up to me to get them ready for preschool by learning numbers, colors, the alphabet, by teaching them to sit and listen, how to wash their hands and that crayons are for coloring, not eating or drawing on each other. I get it.
When we are out in the world, I get stopped....A LOT! It seems that almost every person who passes us utters a comment. Most of them I hear, but are not directed at me, like "Wow! She's got 3 babies" or "Look at that stroller!" I've learned to ignore most comments. I used to stop and acknowledge a nice comment but now, I put my head down and pretend that it is just me, Ellie, Lily and Liam at the mall, zoo, Costco or wherever
Often I want to make a smart-ass comment back, depending on my mood. I never do. I'm not that kind of person. A lot of times, I wish I could come back with a zinger. I think about it and I usually have one just dying to pop out of my mouth, but the commenter means no harm. It is a curiosity to have 3 babies and this person is different than the 20 previous commenters. I have to remember that. I don't want to hurt feelings.
There are some questions though that just are SO inapporpriate and I'm constantly amazed that people don't find them too personal. Maybe they are embarrassed after we leave. Who knows? When those questions come up, I either make up an answer or I give an ambiguous response that will make them think and hopefully realize that they've crossed the line.
For example, here are some cross-the-line questions/comments:
1. Did you use fertility drugs? I'll tell you if you tell me about you.Let's talk about YOUR last woman visit.
2. I assume you used drugs, why? WHAT?!?!?!?
3. Are they natural? No, actually they are plastic! Can you believe it! They are really doing amazing things with plastic these days.
4. Did you deliver naturally or C-section? Does the way in which my beautiful children came into the world really matter?
5. Are they healthy? Most of the time. How is YOUR health? Really, I do understand the curiosity, but would people really want to know if my child has some devastating health issue? Why would I discuss my children's medical history with a stranger?
6. I'd kill myself if I had 3. I love to hear this one. Seriously, why would you say that to a Mom in front of her children?
7. Do twins or triplets run in your family? They do now, especially when they are in trouble.
1. Tell me that I have my hands full. I know that I do. Think of something more creative.
2. Ask me if they are all identical. Look closely...I have a boy in the mix so that narrows the field. For those of you who may not know...boys and girls anatomically CANNOT be identical. Look at my girls...they look completely different. Related? Yes. Identical? No.
3. Ask me if all 3 of them are twins. No further explanation needed on this one.
4. Ask me if I got a lot of sleep. Are you insane? I'm sure that you can figure out this one by yourself.
5. Ask me if they are all mine. Do you want to do errands with 3 toddlers? Sometimes I just want to tell them that I get bored with the same errands with one baby so bringing along another toddler or two makes the day a little more of a challenge for me.
1. Ask their names and personalities. They are 3 different little people with completely different personalities. They are not 1 entity, even though they were born a minute apart.
2. Tell me how beautiful they are. Every Mom loves hearing about how beautiful, perfect and talented her children are.
3. Tell me that you are amazed and impressed that I'm out and about with 3 toddlers and that we all are happy. We are and I love beign with them.
I leave you with some pictures...
Ellie is wearing Liam's safety goggles from his tool bench. She loved them and they actually dress up her outfit a bit, huh?
Liam and Ellie eating some "pos-cle" and playing in the pool. Lily was still getting her beauty rest.
She's up and more beautiful than before!